By NOBUNAGA (@japan_nobunaga). Featured in The New York Times · ABC News Live · Press · Book.
My English teacher warned me:
“Americans are fake. They say ‘how are you,’
but they don’t mean it.”
Day one. Gas station.
A man: “Hey man, how’s it going?”
It’s a trap. I say nothing. I walk away.
He follows. “Sir? You dropped this—”
I walk faster. He walks faster.
I run. He runs.
Two blocks. Still chasing me,
holding three dollars.
Finally he stops, out of breath, and shouts:
“I JUST WANTED YOU TO HAVE A GOOD DAY!”
I had a good day.
Those three dollars are framed on my wall.
My English teacher has never been to America.
I’m starting to notice a pattern.
Cultural FAQs
Do Americans expect a real answer to "How are you?"
Often no. A short "Good, you?" is the social script. A long honest answer can feel unexpected unless you know the person well.
What is "The Bewilderment" category?
Stories where ordinary American habits — greetings, orders, appliances — feel like puzzles to a visitor raised on different defaults.
